how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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