Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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