After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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