Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Mom said you looked used
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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