he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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