I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
