she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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