is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
even my farts smell like vagina
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
