Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
