Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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