I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
