i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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