i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Let's get the cat blown out
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