Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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