i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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