it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
