At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
