I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
