btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize