Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
