thus making me awesome and them whores
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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