You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
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Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
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I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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