No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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