You really coming over, don't trick.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
