well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
