Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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