listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
