So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I FOUND THE LEGS
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
