No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
