your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
