I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
