Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
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You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
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although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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