Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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