he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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