I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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