I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We need to rekindle our bromance
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
