Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
