Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
