there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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