I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
