"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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