Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
