I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
More tranny stories later!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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