I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
