So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
