the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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