I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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