i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
