So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
no, he came in my armpit
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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