Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Randomize