Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
