i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
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Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
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This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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