i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
