This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize