i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
