Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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