thus making me awesome and them whores
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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