It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
