I showed him my bush... on skype.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
