yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
