My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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