Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
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Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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