She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
