Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
