We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
