She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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