Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I want her autograph on my taint
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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